Another Blogiversary

This post has very little to do with the fact that today is my 4-year blogiversary. It seems like it's been much longer, somehow.

Apparently, this year Christmas is going to be more hectic than ever and even less enjoyable. I mean, I don't know that I ever saw the holiday as magical, but this year is going to be like the old days when we would rush around from one location to another without getting to enjoy the day one iota, until it's over, and then there's the lousy anticipation that starts all over again. You wait all year for this day, and then it's gone.

I'm getting mad just thinking about it.

And what really burns me is that it shouldn't be this way. For the past several years, we've gone to one grandma's house on Christmas eve, and the other on Christmas night. Well, this year, the Christmas eve grandma decided to haul off and spend it with some people she barely knows. Without even asking us if it was okay to totally railroad us out.

So now, we're forced to do the Christmas day rush. Oh yes, and I thought I was going to get to see my uncle and a cousin that I haven't seen in years. Yeah, no. They're not coming, either.

And I'm in a foul mood as a result. I don't have much time here with my family before another busy semester starts, and I'd really like to take the time to actually enjoy Christmas. But, then again, my feelings amount to nothing. I guess that's why I don't generally have feelings--I've conditioned myself to lose all feelings and emotions (unless under intense stress and at certain times of the month).

Call me Clark Griswold (actually, please don't), but I had this overly idealized concept that maybe this year we could slow Christmas down a little. I mean, separating it into two days helped, but I still get really depressed once it's over. Now I have to contend with the depression plus the feelings of insignificance that accompany being pushed to the back burner in favor of strangers.

I'm sure that I'm overreacting and that someone everyone anyone who reads this anymore (if anyone does still read this blog after I've practically abandoned it numerous times) will probably consider me horribly spoiled. It's not that I don't appreciate Christmas--quite the contrary. I appreciate it a lot, and that's why I'd like to slow it down and actually enjoy it for once, rather than treat it like work where there are stresses and deadlines to meet and all sorts of unhappy things accompanying it (which is not the way Christmas should be).

I guess I could still make those potato pancakes I've been so hungry for.