Geek Code/Cred

I have finally decided to start messing with my electronics kit. I haven't fooled with electronics for probably 15 years, give or take. I remember when I "dating" Ross that I was very much into electronics, tech stuff, and other geekish activities. This is probably about the time that I had this little cheap breadboard and played with resistors, capacitors, LEDs, etc. I loved using this thing, and I even learned a bit about electronics, but, as with all my other interests, it was short-lived and I soon moved on to something else.

I'm just as flaky with my interests today.

Well, not today as in this very day, but rather today as in, me at age 27. Anyway, today I finally took the notion to get out the electronics kit that I've been lusting after ever since I bought it at Radio Shack some several weeks ago. Yes, I lust after things I already have. It's the purest lust available. Got down the kit and almost gave up. Side note: When I first got it, I started reading the info they give you for before you start, but then I got tired of it. But this time I decided to just review the safety stuff and jump right into the first project, which was to create a blinking LED.

So I followed the rules, installed batteries, turned the sucker on, and, though I was proud to see the LED light up, I wa dismayed that it was not blinking. Took me a few trials and errors to find out that I had the IC upside down. Fixed that and it worked perfectly. Even did the additional modified projects for it. Then I moved on to the second project, titled, "Build a 555 'Black Box' Test Circuit" which worked properly the first time. I'm already picking up on the various capacitors and resistors. Wish I was actually learning how this stuff all worked again, rather than just plugging wires into a breadboard. Sure I learned about it in junior high and high school science classes, but it didn't stay with me as well as some other lessons did.

Anyway, I was wondering if circuitry would count toward my geek cred. I have a long way to go, but I really want to establish myself in the geek world. Jerome said I could probably figure out a way to incorporate it into my geek code, so I looked up the official website. I'm still not sure if I can add electronics into it, but I can probably fit it in there somewhere. In the meantime, I'm going to continue listening to Tech Stuff podcasts, practicing coding, and experimenting with my electronics kit.

On a side note, I also helped Jerome with MLA today. Feels kinda good to be a geek and a nerd in the same day.

Turning Tables...

What? Turntables?!

Man, I wish. If I had a turntable and some vinyl right now, I'd make Alvin and the Chipmunk records like I did back in the day. But alas, 'tis not the topic of mine discussion.

It hasn't been that long since I was in grad school. Maybe... three years since I graduated? Sounds about right. Seems I started teaching Fall 2009, meaning that I graduated Summer 2008, meaning I started Spring 2007. So I guess it was four years since I started, and two and a half since I graduated, give or take. In the grand scheme of things, not all that long since I was a student.

And now I'm a teacher.

Well, a college instructor, to be exact. Feels kind of strange to be on the other side of things. Yet, here I'm finding myself eating pizza and reading PDFs on JSTOR. Feels a lot like grad school. At least this time around, it's more pleasant. This time around I don't have a boyfriend who tries to discourage me from doing my work. This time around my boyfriend encourages me and tried to build me up, rather than tear me down. I still have trust issues, but Jerome treats me very well and is patient and understanding of my insecurities. Obviously it's not all peaches and cream, but it seems to work quite well.

I'm by no means an optimist. Or an optometrist. But I do agree that hindsight is 20/20. Looking back I recognize various behaviors exhibited by Kris that simply were mild forms of abuse. I hope to not use this as a crutch, but to learn from it. To recognize these behaviors for what they were and to move on, understanding that I am, as Jerome has to remind me daily, a special and important person.

It's probably a good thing that I have kept correspondence from Kris. Now that I am distanced from the situation I can see the relationship for what it truly was. Jerome is by no means perfect, but neither am I (though I wish we were). However, we seem to have gotten along rather well this past year.

Anyway, I suppose I should get back to reading my academic essays. They are more enjoyable this time around. Maybe it's because nobody told me to read them. Or maybe it's because no one is telling me not to.

Reminiscery

Yes, I think I just coined a new word. No, I don't care.

So anyway, I was just looking through old blog posts (can I really be on my way to my 6-year blogiversary?!) and I noticed a few things.

My life has gone through some fairly drastic changes in said years.

I know, I know... this is the kind of thing to post on an actual blogiversary, not on a random unassociated day, but eh, at this point, if the muse calls, I need to answer.

Anyway, observation #1: I'm not a whole heck of a lot different now than I was "then."

Translation: I am still interested in noir, neo-noir, certain elements of graphic novel, video games, and similar types of music.

Observation #2: There are alarming similarities between my current boyfriend and my ex.

Translation: They are both into gaming and horror movies and some of the same comedy shows/movies.

Additional Translation: The games they play are wildly different, and they seem to like comedy for different reasons. Also, I actually like my current boyfriend.

Observation #3: Somehow (probably as a result of being with the ex for 3 years or whatever) I have become even more nihilistic, cynical, and jaded.

Translation: I am more conscious and aware of this nihilism, cynicism, and enjadedness that has been growing ever since my first existential crisis emerged at age four.

Observation #4: There was a time when I was actually sorta on top of things, technologically.

Translation: These days, I gotta earn my geek creds. But I keep up with podcasts and nerdy webcoms in addition to the miniscule amounts of gaming I don't have time for.

Observation #5: I was a better writer back then.

Translation: I do my best writing when extremely depressed.

Observation #6: Blogging has become too icon-based and user-friendly for my taste.

Translation: I was just talking to Jerome about this. He prefers WYSIWYG, but I like code. I miss the days when you had to manually format everything. Like typing the word strong in to bold something. I absolutely love code, and HTML is a pretty easy coding system. But I really miss the days when I used to spend hours in front of my old Panasonic computer (I had forgotten the brand etc., but ran across an article on the very one I had here after several months of agonizing on again/off again Google searching. The search terms that found it were "panasonic cpu keyboard 1980s blue keys hook up to cassette player" since that's pretty much all I remembered about it. I don't even know how I remembered that it was Panasonic.) programming various, well, programs in BASIC.

Observation #7: I am more long-winded than I used to be.

Translation: See translation above.

Anniversary!

So today was Jerome and my 1 year dating anniversary. Even though we both had to work, it ended up being a great day. After work, Jerome surprised me with flowers. No, Betty, no ring, but chances are, I will probably have to ask him instead of the other way around. In fact, when we got together last year, it was because I had gone to his parents' house for Easter, and I asked him online later that evening how long he'd liked me, and he answered, then asked me the same question, which I answered. Then he awkwardly asked if I wanted us to "be together... or... something" and acted quite shy and embarrassed. This is why, if all goes well, I would probably have to be the one to propose. We shall see.

After the flowers, we went out to this great pizza place called Mama Mia's. I had Tri-Color cheese tortellini, and he had cheese ravioli, and we shared an appetizer of stuffed green olives and a piece of chocolate cake. He also got me some iTunes cash, and a copy of Pokemon Black.

Speaking of Pokemon, after dinner, Jeremy came by and wanted to play Pokemon, since he has Pokemon White. It was a long and difficult battle, but I came out the victor. Though I had 4 Pokemon in my reserves, they had all been switched out, and were near fainting. Obviously, being a competitive person, I was thrilled to win, but I was also happy to feel included. The fact that my boyfriend's brother feels like a brother to me, should be a good thing. Maybe it is a sign that some day he will be my brother-in-law. Or maybe I'm just being a silly schoolgirl. Who knows. Regardless, it was a perfectly euphoric day, and I'm sad to see it come to a close.

A Lonely Misanthrope

You know, there are just some days when I realize that my misanthropy is a direct result of entropy. Take tonight, for instance. I have been incredibly stressed out due to the fact that there is just too much work to do and that I may as well give up on weekends. However, after a few sips of pineapple rum (not many, mind you, but just enough to calm the nerves), I was feeling good enough to begin grading the papers.

However, a few papers in, Jeremy and Jerome decided to leave to a friend's house. I always worry about them when they go out without me to chaperone because I'm afraid they'll drink too much. Also, I get quite lonely by myself, which is pretty good: a lonely misanthrope.

So speaking of misanthropes, the essays I'm grading are on Johnathan Swift. Side note: I hate that name Johnathan. Never know how to spell it. Not even sure if this spelling is correct. After grading several, I decide to take a break. But before that, I manage to have conversations with three friends. Those went well enough.

I play video games during my break. This is the point at which I become involved in quite the convoluted texting situation involving me, Jerome, and Jeremy, via Jeremy's phone. Then Jerome calls to check on me, and probably because he misses me (I certainly was missing him already by that point). It's hard to play Call of Duty while on the phone, but I managed better than I usually do.

So randomly, my very first boyfriend from when I was 12 starts chatting with me, which is always a good time. Since we were childhood friends, we don't let a little thing like a 7.5 month relationship get in the way of our friendship. It's beautiful, really. He's a gamer too, so we start talking about Call of Duty. Then, Jeremy, who is now intoxicated, starts texting me about Pokemon, blowing that he's gonna beat me at it, as his texts progressively become harder to read and follow. Ross, in the meantime, confesses to me that he is also quite drunk, and Jerome admitted to drinking two beers early in the evening, but is waiting them off so that he can drive home. I'm sure he's fine to drive. Flattered by the two nerdy conversations I'm having with guys, and concurrently depressed by the fact that both these conversations were most likely induced by alcohol, I get up to add more pineapple rum to my glass. Not much, mind you. And come back to see that Ross now has a crescent moon by his chat name, meaning he's probably passed out or something.

Whilst we were still chatting, Ross was talking to me about marriage. Not with him, but with Jerome. He had caught wind of yesterday's April fool joke and took it seriously. Then he started asking if we were going to get married anytime soon. Perhaps I should talk to Jerome about this, as his sister and I were just having a conversation about this earlier. Everyone I talk to seems to think I am going to get married soon, or should. And this has nothing to do with the April fool.

It's rather awkward to talk to your first boyfriend about the possibility to marrying your current boyfriend, even though your first boyfriend is a great guy who will actually listen and communicate, etc. Even if more years have passed since that relationship than you had lived when the relationship began. There's just something about that first love, and I know that I loved Ross. It's even more awkward knowing that Ross is single.

Another interesting side note: On Ross' 27th birthday, I will have been with Jerome for one year.

So here it is, 1:30 in the morning. I need to get back to grading Swift papers. Somewhat ironically, this has been the slowest grading session ever. I'll responsibly sip my pineapple rum and grow more misanthropic and sad as the evening progresses.