Geek Code/Cred

I have finally decided to start messing with my electronics kit. I haven't fooled with electronics for probably 15 years, give or take. I remember when I "dating" Ross that I was very much into electronics, tech stuff, and other geekish activities. This is probably about the time that I had this little cheap breadboard and played with resistors, capacitors, LEDs, etc. I loved using this thing, and I even learned a bit about electronics, but, as with all my other interests, it was short-lived and I soon moved on to something else.

I'm just as flaky with my interests today.

Well, not today as in this very day, but rather today as in, me at age 27. Anyway, today I finally took the notion to get out the electronics kit that I've been lusting after ever since I bought it at Radio Shack some several weeks ago. Yes, I lust after things I already have. It's the purest lust available. Got down the kit and almost gave up. Side note: When I first got it, I started reading the info they give you for before you start, but then I got tired of it. But this time I decided to just review the safety stuff and jump right into the first project, which was to create a blinking LED.

So I followed the rules, installed batteries, turned the sucker on, and, though I was proud to see the LED light up, I wa dismayed that it was not blinking. Took me a few trials and errors to find out that I had the IC upside down. Fixed that and it worked perfectly. Even did the additional modified projects for it. Then I moved on to the second project, titled, "Build a 555 'Black Box' Test Circuit" which worked properly the first time. I'm already picking up on the various capacitors and resistors. Wish I was actually learning how this stuff all worked again, rather than just plugging wires into a breadboard. Sure I learned about it in junior high and high school science classes, but it didn't stay with me as well as some other lessons did.

Anyway, I was wondering if circuitry would count toward my geek cred. I have a long way to go, but I really want to establish myself in the geek world. Jerome said I could probably figure out a way to incorporate it into my geek code, so I looked up the official website. I'm still not sure if I can add electronics into it, but I can probably fit it in there somewhere. In the meantime, I'm going to continue listening to Tech Stuff podcasts, practicing coding, and experimenting with my electronics kit.

On a side note, I also helped Jerome with MLA today. Feels kinda good to be a geek and a nerd in the same day.

Turning Tables...

What? Turntables?!

Man, I wish. If I had a turntable and some vinyl right now, I'd make Alvin and the Chipmunk records like I did back in the day. But alas, 'tis not the topic of mine discussion.

It hasn't been that long since I was in grad school. Maybe... three years since I graduated? Sounds about right. Seems I started teaching Fall 2009, meaning that I graduated Summer 2008, meaning I started Spring 2007. So I guess it was four years since I started, and two and a half since I graduated, give or take. In the grand scheme of things, not all that long since I was a student.

And now I'm a teacher.

Well, a college instructor, to be exact. Feels kind of strange to be on the other side of things. Yet, here I'm finding myself eating pizza and reading PDFs on JSTOR. Feels a lot like grad school. At least this time around, it's more pleasant. This time around I don't have a boyfriend who tries to discourage me from doing my work. This time around my boyfriend encourages me and tried to build me up, rather than tear me down. I still have trust issues, but Jerome treats me very well and is patient and understanding of my insecurities. Obviously it's not all peaches and cream, but it seems to work quite well.

I'm by no means an optimist. Or an optometrist. But I do agree that hindsight is 20/20. Looking back I recognize various behaviors exhibited by Kris that simply were mild forms of abuse. I hope to not use this as a crutch, but to learn from it. To recognize these behaviors for what they were and to move on, understanding that I am, as Jerome has to remind me daily, a special and important person.

It's probably a good thing that I have kept correspondence from Kris. Now that I am distanced from the situation I can see the relationship for what it truly was. Jerome is by no means perfect, but neither am I (though I wish we were). However, we seem to have gotten along rather well this past year.

Anyway, I suppose I should get back to reading my academic essays. They are more enjoyable this time around. Maybe it's because nobody told me to read them. Or maybe it's because no one is telling me not to.

Reminiscery

Yes, I think I just coined a new word. No, I don't care.

So anyway, I was just looking through old blog posts (can I really be on my way to my 6-year blogiversary?!) and I noticed a few things.

My life has gone through some fairly drastic changes in said years.

I know, I know... this is the kind of thing to post on an actual blogiversary, not on a random unassociated day, but eh, at this point, if the muse calls, I need to answer.

Anyway, observation #1: I'm not a whole heck of a lot different now than I was "then."

Translation: I am still interested in noir, neo-noir, certain elements of graphic novel, video games, and similar types of music.

Observation #2: There are alarming similarities between my current boyfriend and my ex.

Translation: They are both into gaming and horror movies and some of the same comedy shows/movies.

Additional Translation: The games they play are wildly different, and they seem to like comedy for different reasons. Also, I actually like my current boyfriend.

Observation #3: Somehow (probably as a result of being with the ex for 3 years or whatever) I have become even more nihilistic, cynical, and jaded.

Translation: I am more conscious and aware of this nihilism, cynicism, and enjadedness that has been growing ever since my first existential crisis emerged at age four.

Observation #4: There was a time when I was actually sorta on top of things, technologically.

Translation: These days, I gotta earn my geek creds. But I keep up with podcasts and nerdy webcoms in addition to the miniscule amounts of gaming I don't have time for.

Observation #5: I was a better writer back then.

Translation: I do my best writing when extremely depressed.

Observation #6: Blogging has become too icon-based and user-friendly for my taste.

Translation: I was just talking to Jerome about this. He prefers WYSIWYG, but I like code. I miss the days when you had to manually format everything. Like typing the word strong in to bold something. I absolutely love code, and HTML is a pretty easy coding system. But I really miss the days when I used to spend hours in front of my old Panasonic computer (I had forgotten the brand etc., but ran across an article on the very one I had here after several months of agonizing on again/off again Google searching. The search terms that found it were "panasonic cpu keyboard 1980s blue keys hook up to cassette player" since that's pretty much all I remembered about it. I don't even know how I remembered that it was Panasonic.) programming various, well, programs in BASIC.

Observation #7: I am more long-winded than I used to be.

Translation: See translation above.

Anniversary!

So today was Jerome and my 1 year dating anniversary. Even though we both had to work, it ended up being a great day. After work, Jerome surprised me with flowers. No, Betty, no ring, but chances are, I will probably have to ask him instead of the other way around. In fact, when we got together last year, it was because I had gone to his parents' house for Easter, and I asked him online later that evening how long he'd liked me, and he answered, then asked me the same question, which I answered. Then he awkwardly asked if I wanted us to "be together... or... something" and acted quite shy and embarrassed. This is why, if all goes well, I would probably have to be the one to propose. We shall see.

After the flowers, we went out to this great pizza place called Mama Mia's. I had Tri-Color cheese tortellini, and he had cheese ravioli, and we shared an appetizer of stuffed green olives and a piece of chocolate cake. He also got me some iTunes cash, and a copy of Pokemon Black.

Speaking of Pokemon, after dinner, Jeremy came by and wanted to play Pokemon, since he has Pokemon White. It was a long and difficult battle, but I came out the victor. Though I had 4 Pokemon in my reserves, they had all been switched out, and were near fainting. Obviously, being a competitive person, I was thrilled to win, but I was also happy to feel included. The fact that my boyfriend's brother feels like a brother to me, should be a good thing. Maybe it is a sign that some day he will be my brother-in-law. Or maybe I'm just being a silly schoolgirl. Who knows. Regardless, it was a perfectly euphoric day, and I'm sad to see it come to a close.

A Lonely Misanthrope

You know, there are just some days when I realize that my misanthropy is a direct result of entropy. Take tonight, for instance. I have been incredibly stressed out due to the fact that there is just too much work to do and that I may as well give up on weekends. However, after a few sips of pineapple rum (not many, mind you, but just enough to calm the nerves), I was feeling good enough to begin grading the papers.

However, a few papers in, Jeremy and Jerome decided to leave to a friend's house. I always worry about them when they go out without me to chaperone because I'm afraid they'll drink too much. Also, I get quite lonely by myself, which is pretty good: a lonely misanthrope.

So speaking of misanthropes, the essays I'm grading are on Johnathan Swift. Side note: I hate that name Johnathan. Never know how to spell it. Not even sure if this spelling is correct. After grading several, I decide to take a break. But before that, I manage to have conversations with three friends. Those went well enough.

I play video games during my break. This is the point at which I become involved in quite the convoluted texting situation involving me, Jerome, and Jeremy, via Jeremy's phone. Then Jerome calls to check on me, and probably because he misses me (I certainly was missing him already by that point). It's hard to play Call of Duty while on the phone, but I managed better than I usually do.

So randomly, my very first boyfriend from when I was 12 starts chatting with me, which is always a good time. Since we were childhood friends, we don't let a little thing like a 7.5 month relationship get in the way of our friendship. It's beautiful, really. He's a gamer too, so we start talking about Call of Duty. Then, Jeremy, who is now intoxicated, starts texting me about Pokemon, blowing that he's gonna beat me at it, as his texts progressively become harder to read and follow. Ross, in the meantime, confesses to me that he is also quite drunk, and Jerome admitted to drinking two beers early in the evening, but is waiting them off so that he can drive home. I'm sure he's fine to drive. Flattered by the two nerdy conversations I'm having with guys, and concurrently depressed by the fact that both these conversations were most likely induced by alcohol, I get up to add more pineapple rum to my glass. Not much, mind you. And come back to see that Ross now has a crescent moon by his chat name, meaning he's probably passed out or something.

Whilst we were still chatting, Ross was talking to me about marriage. Not with him, but with Jerome. He had caught wind of yesterday's April fool joke and took it seriously. Then he started asking if we were going to get married anytime soon. Perhaps I should talk to Jerome about this, as his sister and I were just having a conversation about this earlier. Everyone I talk to seems to think I am going to get married soon, or should. And this has nothing to do with the April fool.

It's rather awkward to talk to your first boyfriend about the possibility to marrying your current boyfriend, even though your first boyfriend is a great guy who will actually listen and communicate, etc. Even if more years have passed since that relationship than you had lived when the relationship began. There's just something about that first love, and I know that I loved Ross. It's even more awkward knowing that Ross is single.

Another interesting side note: On Ross' 27th birthday, I will have been with Jerome for one year.

So here it is, 1:30 in the morning. I need to get back to grading Swift papers. Somewhat ironically, this has been the slowest grading session ever. I'll responsibly sip my pineapple rum and grow more misanthropic and sad as the evening progresses.

What a Wonderful Way to Spend a Saturday

This is great. Here I am, chilling on the loveseat with some Chips Ahoy and a Pepsi Max. My DSi and iPod are well within reach, and I am practicing HTML. Jerome had been messing around with his little media center, but he got discouraged and quit, unfortunately. His brother, Jeremy, is painting miniatures. Probably Warhammer guys, but I'm not sure. Listening to Cage the Elephant, which is completely working for me right now. I'd like to put together another Lego project, but to be honest, I'm having a ball relearning algebra. Who knew I'd become so lame? I do this sort of thing for fun. And lemme tell ya, HTML is rocking my world. Maybe someday I'll be able to write humor again, but right now, I'm in nerd/geek mode. Anyway, if I can ever get the hang of basic HTML, I think I'll move on to JavaScript (which I did mess around with just a little this morning), and then eventually work my way up to C or C++. Not sure which C language I want to go with. I'd need to do some more research first.

Sure, I have essays to grade and stuff to read both for class and for pleasure, but my brain is craving this math/science stuff at the moment, for some reason...

Off topic: Howlin' Wolf just came on my iPod. Blues music is working for me too!

The Madness Continues...

Over the weekend, I completed two fairly crazy construction projects. Well, the construction projects themselves weren't crazy, but my doing of them was. On Saturday evening, I spent an insomniac night putting together a Lego Technic motorcycle project. Then, on Sunday evening, I spent an insomniac night putting together a Lego architecture project. Fallingwater. I think that is the largest, and, arguably, most difficult Lego architecture project. I spent a fair amount of time listening to podcasts about a variety of topics, including spiritual/philosophy, technology, and female difficulties (to put it politely).

Well, since that's over, I am considering reading up on programming again, and perhaps practicing math and science problems. I also have an electronics kit that I just don't feel like working with tonight. I also, of course, have work to do (grading and reading both). If I weren't always so tired, I would try my hand at humor writing again. I guess at least blogging keeps me in the writing mindset. Well, I'm off to do something--just not sure what.

Nerd Alert!

Continuing on with my unbridled nerdiness, I find myself this weekend lounging on the loveseat with my iPod being charged by my laptop, which is, not surprisingly, on my lap as I type this. On the coffee table, you will find Chemistry Workbook for Dummies and Algebra Workbook for Dummies because, yes, I enjoy doing math and science problems for fun in my spare time. That iPod has a paused "Stuff You Should Know" podcast loaded up on it. The topic is how taste works. Speaking of taste, there is also a bag of baked cheddar fries snacks and a Coke Zero on the coffee table, keeping me energized in a low-fat and low-calorie manner.

Also on the coffee table, you would find my DS and my ereader. Brave New World is on the ereader; platformer games are in the DS. There is a deck of Magic cards and four d20 dice, two d10s, one d12 and a counter. There are also some miniatures that we used as Magic creatures last night, but that can double as monsters in Dungeons and Dragons.

I just bought a couple of Lego kits (you can thank Josh and Chuck for this one); the other day I listened to a podcast of how Legos work. This rekindled my love for Legobricks and construction. I just got Fallingwater the other day, and a Technic kit yesterday. Wish I had the time to do all the things I want to do. As you can see, I'm finally just now getting around to blogging, which was another of the things I've been wanting to do for a while. I also have been playing very small amounts of Fallout: New Vegas, and sometimes Mega Man. And then, of course, there are always my iPod apps. Now I just need to learn to program apps. I am glad that I have so many interests, but I wish I had the discipline to pick and choose which things I do which days. And I also wish I had the patience to learn all the things that interest me.

Oh and also, to satisfy some of my nerdy cravings, I still type html codes in manually when I blog.

Too Old for a Quarter-Life Crisis; Too Young for Mid-Life...

Okay, so I'm obviously going through some kind of crisis.

If you read my last post, you would see that I've been thinking quite a bit about high school, the past, and my unrequited love for the sciences.

To make matters worse, I am now listening to a lot of podcasts. It's like I just keep trying to add to my knowledge base, things that won't exactly benefit me in my job. I have the most peculiar hobbies, I suppose. But then, I'm still doing the gaming thing, except... as a gamer, I am reverting to an even younger age, as I seem to have acquired quite a taste again for... Mega Man!

Yes, Mega Man. Anybody remember that game? I just bought the app for my iPod and Mega Man 9 on Xbox Live Arcade.

I'm all about the platformers, for some reason. It's been a while since I was into those type. I'm usually a huge FPS fan, and, don't get me wrong, I still am, but there was something last year that made me want a Nintendo DS, and then to get some Mario games and Kirby. Then, just a couple days ago I remembered Mega Man.

I called my grandmother last night, who is an old-school gamer who can't stand violence but loves those old games she used to play on probably a 286 or 386. It was funny because I reminded her of Mega Man (which, by the way, she introduced me to), and she mentioned a couple of games I had completely forgotten about: Freddy's Rescue Roundup, and Oil's Well.

To make a long story short, I think we're going to get those for her. Maybe next time I'm at her place I can relive a part of my past that has less regret tied to it. In the meantime, I'm going to go make a list of all the places I want to visit and all the skills I want to learn and knowledge I want to gain. And I'm gonna go listen to those podcasts for a head start.

Reminiscing and Regretting

Hmm, I just haven't been feeling as inspired lately. I'm trying to force myself to write, though, so that I don't lose my touch. These days, most of my time is taken up with grown-up stuff: teaching my six classes (and prepping for them and grading papers from them), doing other work-related things, and keeping up with my part of the household-related stuff. I just don't have much to write about, but as I ran across some old stuff I'd written about myself a couple years ago, I figured I should document myself these days so that in a couple more years, I'll remember what I was like at this point in my life.

Well, I went through a brief resurgence in my appreciation of the hard-rock/metal genre, but now I'm turning more into my high school self. Yeah, that's a good way to put it. I feel like the high school me.

Now I'm not sure how good this is, reverting to my 17-year-old self. Life was pretty rough for me 10 years ago. I was making that life-changing decision to change from a chemical engineering career path to one of English education. I was seeing my former dreams shatter in front of my eyes with the revelation that, no matter how much I loved engineering, chemisty, physics, and various maths, I just was not good enough to build a life around it. Also, this was about the time that I was suffering severe panic attacks that impaired my performance at school, further reinforcing my negative self-image. I was depressed because I didn't feel like I belonged in my school and no boys were interested in me. You know, your typical teenage angst.

Anyway, I'm not feeling so much like that, per se, but I am finding myself fascinated by the sciences again. And another similarity to high school is that my musical tastes are changing quite frequently. And I seem to have picked up my vague interest in hockey again. How bizarre.

To deal with this new math and science obsession, I have purchased several books in the Dummies series (involving chemistry, physics, and math) and invested in an electronics kit. I don't have time to use any of these much, but it is comforting to know they're there.

And don't even get me started on the 3-D puzzles.

Things are going well between Jerome and myself. Every day, however, I live with this gnawing regret that I was unable to know him at a younger age. If I could somehow go back in time and change my own history, I would move to where he was raised in 1997. This way, I could still have my experiences with my 6th grade boyfriend (which, aside from the breakup, were remarkably pleasant) but without all the negative stuff that came in 7th grade and after. Now don't get me wrong, not ALL of my high school experiences were bad, but the negatives strongly outweigh the positives. To the extent that given the chance, I'd move in a heartbeat. Anyway, then I could have gone to a teacher's academy AND (more importantly) a science academy.

I honestly think that if Jerome and I had met at a young age, both our lives would have been exponentially better (ha--exponential, get it? math? never mind). We've talked before, and have come to the conclusion that we would probably have been great friends in junior high, and probably would have dated in high school. Heck, since neither of us went to prom in real life, we probably would have gone together. Jerome thinks we probably would have been married and maybe even have children by now.

Regrets.

Makes me even unhappier with my grad school years and the relationship that accompanied it. Makes me hate that I can't go back and change things. I would still be a skeptic and a cynic, but I probably wouldn't be so jaded.

Even one of Jerome's friends from his high school said today that it would have been cool if I had gone to their high school. Made me feel really good. I never felt that accepted at my own schools.

Well, I sure came up with a lot of stuff to say, especially considering I was feeling uninspired earlier.

First Update of 2011

I feel so horrible that I haven't updated in three months! It was a crazy busy semester in the fall, and I just didn't have much free time. This semester will probably be pretty busy, as well, but maybe I can squeeze a blog post in here and there. Hopefully, anyway. Happy 2011!

My Nerdiness Cup Runneth Over

I've been playing World of Warcraft for the past two weeks or so. Last year I spent Labor Day weekend playing Settlers of Catan. This Labor Day weekend I spent playing Magic: The Gathering. Need I say more?

Feeling Kinda Blah

Bored and lonely on a Friday night. I wanted to go see the Scott Pilgrim movie tonight, but I assumed Mother would want to clean house since Jerome's coming in a couple days. However, no cleaning has gotten done as of yet. Jean and Beth hung out with their parents tonight, but I bet if I'd asked, they'd've probably gone to see the movie with me. Now I can't decide what to do. I kind of want to try to see the movie in the morning matinee, but I don't know if Jean and Beth want to or even will be available, though I asked both of them about it tonight. Mom's going to want me to do some laundry in the morning, which is fine, but I need to know how to schedule everything since Jerome's getting in early Sunday afternoon.

Speaking of him and laundry, I'm super lonely because he was talking to me a little today but then had to go do laundry. He came back a little bit and then said he had to get something to eat. I don't mean to be needy, but I'm feeling pretty isolated right now. Guess that's why I decided to blog.

Regaining Feeling in My Formerly Stony Heart

Well, it's a bittersweet day for me. I gave away Jasper and Sunshine today. I tell you, pets just become a part of the family. Even if I didn't see them much after moving out. And even if they were a nuisance to take care of.

The good thing is that they went to a good home. One of my friends from high school's parents own a pet shop, so I gave my parakeets to them. I am under the impression that these are going to be the pet shop owners' personal pets. I hope so, anyway.

I was sad last night, and a little this morning, but on my way to the pet shop, I was strangely at peace. True to form, Sunshine kept falling off her perch. Both birds seemed kind of keyed up, so I turned on NPR, which was playing Classical music, to calm them down.

On the way to the pet shop though, a wave of loneliness hit me and has been tearing my heart to shreds all day. I've only been away from him for about 2.5 weeks, but I miss my boyfriend like crazy. I really don't think I've ever felt this way about anyone before. And after I told myself I'd never allow my heart to become tender again. Suddenly I'm just all emotional and I'm actually really surprised with myself.

Anyway, then I did okay as I dropped off the birds. I didn't even say goodbye to them--it was just as though I was leaving them at the vet or something. But when I got back in my car without them there, it hit me too. My eyes teared up, and I'm not one to cry much. I tried to "man up" as much as a girl is expected to be able to do and went on with the rest of my day.

However, I then realized that it was Paul McCartney's birthday, which made me wish I could have been at Paul's 64th birthday in Liverpool (which I could've gone to, had I taken advantage of a study abroad opportunity that very summer).

Anyway, about the birds. Last night when I was cleaning their cage up all pretty to give them away, Sunshine managed to get out. She's the really paranoid one, so catching her and getting her back in the cage wasn't the easiest thing I've ever done, but it wasn't as difficult as I'd expected it to be, either. I might write a humorous piece detailing it at some point, and how I had to close the door so that the cats didn't get in and eat her and how she kept squawking and flapping, and almost getting behind my TV stand, but that's for another time. When I finally did get her back in the cage, Jasper let out a squawk that sounded for the world like, "Ja wohl!"

Why did my beautiful Jasper have to start speaking German the night before I gave him away?

D-Day

Today is D-Day. But I was unaware of this fact until a high school friend that I hadn't heard from in a few months randomly communicated this fact to me. Huh.

Makes me think about how I need to go to Normandy still. I think I blogged about this sometime back, but age is sneaking up on me prematurely (at least as far as memory is concerned. Actually, my memory bank is more like Orwell's memory hole. You can be Freudian with that if you choose, but you'll just end up making a fool of yourself if you do. Anyway, what was I saying? Oh yes. Normandy.

So I had this great-uncle that was killed at D-Day. I'm guessing it was Omaha beach, since a certain cousin of mine wrote a story about a kid who was killed at Omaha beach, but that's just my speculation and assumption. Anyway, I'd love to visit the beaches of Normandy for that reason, and simply because I'd like to learn more about WWII. And to actually visit some places where battles took place would just be surreal.

I guess if nothing else, perhaps my learning more about WWII will enhance my playing of of Axis and Allies when I get together with my boyfriend and his friends.

Oh Aunt Flo, How I Hate Thee...

I really despise certain things about being a woman (most of them, really). And having that pesky Aunt Flo is at the top of that list. It usually doesn't bother me that much, but for some reason, it's really messing with my emotions tonight. I've been irritable, sad, and now depressed. The really bad thing is the depression. I had a problem with depression in high school and I would get to where I literally didn't want to do anything. Kind of like how I feel right now. Tonight, I didn't even want to blog. It's just something I'm doing until the allergy meds kick in and knock me out so I can get some sleep. Well, that and because as I recall, I tend to do my best writing when I'm feeling the worst.

But tonight might be an exception.

I'm hoping that I come out of this madness tomorrow. In the evening I'm supposed to have dinner with my cousin and a friend. Before that, who knows. If I'm still depressed, I probably won't be doing much of anything. Unless I start writing again. Or sleep all day. My boyfriend was kind of hinting that he'd like me to come to his place tomorrow, but, once again, if I'm in a nasty mood, I'd rather him not see the bad side of me. Goodness knows he's already seen enough bad sides of me. It's amazing he even still likes me.

If I didn't live with other people, I'd probably do something really crazy like cook a box of macaroni and cheese at 2am. Or play my guitar. Or play Fallout 3 and make really bad decisions just for the heck of it. Or maybe even do some cross-stitch. I haven't done crafts in a long time. But not because I really want to do any of these things; rather to take my mind off the fact that I'm depressed for no reason and, once again, have persistent insomnia.

However, one thing that makes me really happy is the fact that I am most likely going to order an Xbox 360 tomorrow. This means more gaming potential, since I already have the PS3. And most of my friends and my boyfriend's friends, and our shared friends have the 360. Plus, he has them both. I think my mood just improved a micrometer.

Now I'm off to make myself some late-night nachos.

I'm No Good with Kids...

Somewhat ironically, when I first started typing this nearly an hour ago, I only got as far as the title, when the kid showed up and I had to quickly close this window and shut my computer off.

So I'm at my boyfriend's house, and we're setting up for his little sister's 4th birthday party. She's actually his adopted sister, but that's neither here nor there. Anyway, I've moved tables, unloaded chairs from a pickup truck, set up said chairs, and filled a Hello Kitty pinata. All this in addition to keeping the little kid company for a while.

I'm exhausted. I don't know how to deal with children. Jerome is losing his patience with the whole thing, as well. To top things off, I forgot to even buy her a gift.

Well, I think I'm learning, though. When she started asking me too many questions and I was too tired to answer, Jerome asked her what she wanted. She replied, "nothing." He then asked what she was doing in his room. Before the kid had a chance to answer, I told her that if she was looking for nothing, there was a whole lot of nothing in the living room. She actually went into the living room in search of "nothing." It lasted for a good 30 seconds.

Things I'm (Not So) Proud Of...

1) I can play Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2 online for hours on end.

2) I'm being a jerk on Fallout 3 on my first go.

3) I not-so-secretly want to make a vegetarian version of KFC's Double Down.

4) I think the chip in my windshield that looks like a bullet hole is pretty freaking awesome.

5) I can make a "that's what she said" reference or other double entendre out of just about anything.

6) And I usually do.

7) I quite possibly have no soul.

8) I have an overwhelming desire to visit all the places in "I've Been Everywhere."

9) I have been known to quote certain parts of "Closer" by Nine Inch Nails. Probably not the parts you are thinking of though.

10) I ate pizza with macaroni and cheese on it yesterday. And kind of liked it.

11) I got my @$$ kicked by Buffalo Wild Wings' Blazin' sauce. Just last week!

12) I just made a list of things I'm not proud of.

Not That I Would Know, or Anything...

So, how much of a nerd are you if you chat with your boyfriend about your progress in Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2 solo spec ops missions? How about if you are playing him online and chat about strategy in between missions? And secretly wish to be Soap MacTavish? And take a quiz to find out that you are, in fact, Soap MacTavish? Or, at least a female version of him?

Less Than Coherent...

I have this love-hate thing with insomnia. I love it because, often, some of my best writing comes as a result of it. Also, it's kinda cool to know that my brain just keeps going and going like a bit of marketing from a famous battery company a few years back. But I hate it because, well, it means I'm not sleeping.

I can't say as I really have a sleeping pattern. I'm assuming this is not a good thing. A few weeks ago I slept 4 hours per night each night of the weekend. I felt fine. Then, Sunday evening, it hit me.

I've been traveling a lot today, and, as a result, have found myself napping on airplanes.

By the time my good friend picked me up at the airport late this evening, I felt somewhat intoxicated. I'm not even sure what I said to him. It's been just slightly over an hour since we had this conversation, and I can't recall most of it.

God only knows what I might have said to him.

Anyway, I think I was even dreaming on the plane. I know I was dreaming when I was napping at the airport. Funny thing is, I was only sleeping for short bursts--maybe five minutes at a time, if even that. Now that I'm home and in a nice, comfortable bed (rather than sitting bolt upright in a cramped economy-class airplane seat), I suddenly find myself sleepless. And the darnedest thing is, I'm extremely tired. And sleepy. And yet I can't sleep.

Well, maybe writing about it has helped. Who knows. All I know is that I'm going to need to do my best to get some rest with what is left of this night, because later today, I'm going to have to get back to work.

You know, glancing back over this thing, I think it's the most coherent thing I've ever written. On here, anyway.